I spent most of the week of October 12 in San Antonio, Texas, helping with the Stages & Pages visibility conference for women speakers and authors.

Though I was busy behind the scenes and didn’t get to hear many sessions or interact as much as I would have liked with the attendees, speakers and partners, inspiration still surrounded me before, during and after.

The resulting MiniMusing is best illustrated by this photo op we found on our walk to dinner Friday night and best told in two parts.

First: Sharing My Story

Inspiration: Before

I’ll be honest: in the weeks leading up to the conference, I’ve been feeling disheartened and uncertain of myself and my priorities and my focus. 

After our virtual pre-conference networking event, I had my first major epiphany.

I have a tendency to make myself small.

As soon as I could gather a few quiet moments alone with my pen and journal, I started to unpack that realization. While I have much farther to go toward understanding, I discovered a second declaration.

When I try to put myself out there and be the opposite of small and withdrawn, I fear I come across as prideful or boastful or overbearing.

Now, I have no words of wisdom or earth-shattering conclusion to this dilemma of mine. I need more quiet time to journal and reflect and pray and to discuss with the people I trust the most who know me best. And yet, I’m optimistic about the journey to understanding myself better.

After all, the first step to improving myself is admitting I have an issue, and the second is seeking wise counsel. What I did conclude, though, was that I don’t want to continue to shrink into corners, but I want to seek opportunities to share in a right and godly way.

Following the mixer-inspired epiphany, I spent time reviewing my speaking topics and workshop titles to refresh myself on what I have to offer. I also reviewed events I’ve participated in and opportunities I’ve had to share with others. Honestly, I was blown away at all the experiences I’ve had and the many types of content I have to share.

Lack of content certainly isn’t a reason for me to shy away from a platform.

Inspiration: During

One of the few moments I got to be in the main room and listen to the message from the stage, I found myself with tears running down my face.

Roshanda Pratt wasn’t saying something I haven’t already told myself, but she was saying it at a time when I’d forgotten to speak it to my own heart.

Each of us has a story, and someone—somewhere—needs to hear that story we have to share.

All the phrases I’ve used multiple times over the years cascaded over my heart.

• Remember Your Why
• For the One
• Share the Read
• Share the Write

And so, I came to another realization. When I make myself small—much like my beloved character Jack in Any Good Thing—my self-perceived selflessness is nothing other than selfishness.

When I tuck my stories away and declare my action—or inaction, more accurately—is so someone else can shine, I’m really revealing my fear and laziness.

I’m afraid of speaking out and speaking up … of being judged or lacking. Perhaps I’m unwilling to do the work the journey may require if I choose to share those stories instead of squirreling them away.

And so, Roshanda reminded me why I wanted to share in the first place and inspired me to add a few more topics to my list of potential keynotes.

Each of the women who stood on that stage and shared their stories last week encouraged me to share mine. They reminded me that we do so because someone needs to hear them.

And, perhaps, those listeners need someone like me to give them permission to share their own stories.

Inspiration: After

As I scrolled through the few photos I took last week and compiled them into a reel that encompassed the magnitude of the Stages & Pages experience, inspiration found me once again.

I saw joy in the shine on the faces of the women involved. I recognized passion and purpose and determination there, too. But, I didn’t just see those things on the other faces, I noticed them in mine as well.

Their commitment to share and take the next big steps gave me the courage to do the same. Scrolling through the posts of new friends and acquaintances and seeing the conference through their eyes showed me I’m in good company.

Now, I’m uncertain of the approach or path to share my stories in the ways I know I can, but I know I will find guidance to the right way. I’m confident in my words—spoken and written—and know God has a plan in place for me to share what He’s gifted me.

Next time, I’ll share Part II—what I believe will be my approach to “Live a Great Story” from now on. Have you experienced any epiphanies recently? What are you learning from them?